Monday, December 10, 2012

What is my purpose?

Being a senior in high school, I am constantly preparing for college and, eventually, my career.  I am always being asked about my future.  It seems that whenever I talk to an adult, we can't have a proper conversation without the adult asking me about my plans.  I am never quite sure if they are really curious or if they just don't know what else to say.  It's probably a little bit of both.  I guess this is just a part of life, and maybe someday, I will be asking some people that are generations younger than me what they plan on making of the rest of their life.

Within a year or two ago, my sister found something that my grandma, Janice, wrote with a similar point.  She was writing what she believed was her purpose.  It was really great to read this because she passed away before either of us were born.  My mom always told us what a wonderful, loving grandma she would have been to us.  After reading this, I could see a little bit about how she was as a person.  She recounted special moments with my grandpa and how she was so happy to have married him.  I never got the privilege of knowing her, but Grandma Janice taught me some valuable things: "Whatever you are, be a good one," and it's okay to have a really simple purpose in your life.  When my mom was going to marry a Catholic man and convert to Catholicism, the first quote, "Whatever you are, be a good one," was the piece of advice that Grandma Janice told my mom.  She said that it doesn't matter if you are a Lutheran or Catholic or something else.  She just believed in doing whatever you believe to be right as well as you can.  She said in her paper that she wrote that her purpose in life was to love God and to love and to raise her family.  Her values must have been passed on to my generation because I definitely hope to have a life with that as my purpose.



It seems that nowadays there is so much more expected out of young people.  Maybe it has been like this forever, but it seems like the kids are being way more pressured than they have been in the past.  My aunt, Diane, who is a third grade teacher says that the government keeps forcing kids to learn complex things younger and younger.  I joked about how first graders are going to have to begin writing essays.  So many things that I have learned in school, my parents and my grandparents have said that they didn't need to learn that in school at the age I did.  I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  I guess in a sense people may be getting "smarter," but it's also really stressful.  People are focusing more on money, careers, and material things rather than morals, faith, and love.

Despite how frustrating the emphasis on focusing on learning tailored to standardized tests and a subsequent job is, I still feel the need and desire to pursue a college education and experience.  I feel that if I didn't follow this path, I would be disappointed in myself because I would not be living up to my potential or "being a good one."  At the moment, I am debating between attending the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Benedictine College.  They both have positive and negative aspects that I need to weigh to see which one fits me better.


I have many interests and things that I wish to learn more about, but I think I will study Spanish and International Relations during college.  I don't really know where this will lead me, but I am looking forward to finding out.  I believe that if I do what feels right, everything will work out the way it's supposed to.  I don't really want to have a huge plan in place.  Sometimes, the unplanned things are the best in life.  I want to have adventures, but I also want to just sit and enjoy the really simple, little things.  The movie, Up, is such a perfect description of what I want: a beautiful happy life.


I found this quote on Pinterest, and I just think it's really beautiful.  It applies to me so much.  I really have no idea what life has in store for me.  Like my grandma, I want to be a loving person.  That is the only thing that I know.  I know who I will be.  I don't necessarily know my plan, yet, but I know that I want to be someone that I am proud to call "me."

Whatever I am going to be, I'll be a good one.